5th of september 1979, tape one in the ongoing life story of John Winston Ono Lennon. Talk about 9 Newcastle Road, because that's the first place I remember. And it's a good way to start.
Red brick. Front room. Never used. Always curtains drawn. Picture of a horse and carriage on the wall, which ended up at nanny's place. Aunt Ann, who's still living in Rockferry, Cheshire. Then she sold it. The first thing I remember is a nightmare. There was only three bedrooms upstairs, one in the front on the street, one in the back and one tiny little room in the middle. This is boring, I can't be bothered doing it. Let's think of something else.
Was listening to the radio and Dylan's new single or album, or whatever the hell it is, came on. About "everybody's gotta get served"? I mean, what was it. "Ev... You've gotta serve someone... You've gotta serve somebody". So, he wants to be a waiter now. Must be a waiter for Christ. The backing was mediocre by Jerry Wexler and the singing was really pathetic and the words were just embarassing. So, here we sit, watching the mighty Dylan and the mighty McCartney and the mighty Jagger slide down the mountain. And blood and mud in their nails. Well, that's the way the world is. That's the way the world is, oh yes.
The difference between now and a couple of years back is, that whenever there was a new thing out by any of the aforesaid, I used to feel a sense of panic and competition. And now I just feel like... Even in the last few months it's changed. I would send out for their albums or something, just to hear it. It doesn't seem any point now.
Let's take a break. How do we break? Just put it off.
Still, even though talking about them or thinking about them, still really being involved with it. Because the ultimate disassociation would be not even to know that they had an album out! But now I at least get pleasure in it instead of panic. The main pleasure being, of course, that it's all a load of shit. So I suppose I'll always feel competetive with them, cause they were from that same generation. But when I hear something like pop music by Robin Scott or the Blondie single, I really enjoy it, cause I don't feel competetive about it. Well, he who laughs laughs laughs laughs laughs laughs.
Read Truman Capote's interview with himself in this "Weeks" or "Months" or whatever interview magazine. And it wasn't bad, but it wasn't any better than the one I did two years ago. Although at the time I thought I'd originated it, but someone told me Bernard Shaw had done it. I like the remark some woman made about Bernard Shaw, that his brains had gone to his head.
What's that? Sounds like birds... Well, of course the bagpipes got me right back to Edinburgh, which is one of my favourite dreams. And, Edinburgh Festival, and the *** in the castle, when all the bands of the world's armies would come and march and play. And the favourites usually, I think they were usually the Americans, cause they could *** like shit. Apart from actually the Scots, who were really the favourites. And I remember always feeling very emotional about it. Especially when they did the bit at the end, where they put all the lights out and there's just one guy playing the bagpipes. Lit by a lone spotlight. Okay. Well, in 1981 I'll take Sean there, cause that's a good year to go. I always felt free in Scotland. It's probably the same feeling I get in Japan, actually. It's the feeling of being in a foreign country, and therefore you're not... you don't belong to the... You don't have to deal with the social *** so much. Free from everything. It's easier to be yourself in a foreign country. I think that's why so many people go crackers when they get on holidays in those places. The freedom is too much for them.
Well, it's easier to think than talk.
Just... I was just remembering the time when I had my hand on my mother's tit, in No. 1 Longfield Road in, ah, *** Avenue near Garston. That's when I was about 14. Took a day off school. I was always doing that and hanging out at her house. And we lie on the bed, and I was thinking, I wonder, I should do anything else, you know. And it was a strange moment. Cause I actually had the ***, as they say, for some... There was a lower class female who lived on the other side of the road. But I always think, well I should have done it. Presuming she would have allowed it.
The thing I wanted to add about McCartney, Dylan, Jagger, et al, is that they're all company men. In various disguises. But basically company men. Not forgetting the singing dwarf, Mr. Simon. And by the way, mother was wearing a black angora short-sleeve round-neck sweater, not too fluffy, maybe it was that other stuff, cashmir. What's it, cashmir, soft wool anyway. And, I believe, that tight, dark green with yellow muttled, skirt.
Hey ho.
I always remember seeing her going down on Twitchy. Or otherwise known as Robert Dykins. Dykins, D-Y-K-I-N-S. Her Bobby Dykins, her second husband, I don't know if she ever married him or not. She was under the bed sheets and I wandered into the room. So I was staying there. Same period, 14 on, 13 on, or whatever. And I can't remember exactly what I felt. Shock, I know that. But I was already probably into it myself. I probably wasn't THAT shocked. It was the idea of going down on him, I think. Sleazy little waiter. With the nervous caugh and the thinning, margarine-coated hair. He used to always push his hand in the margarine or the butter, usually margarine, and grease his hair with it before he left. He used to keep his tips in a big tin on top of a cupboard in the kitchen, and I used to always steal them. And I believe mother got the blame. That's the least they could do for me.
I'm sitting here waiting to be taken out to view yet another group of houses for our country retreat. This endless search for Scotland outside of New York, within an hour of New York. Well, now I've given up Scotland and the ocean, I'm settling for a... some grass and a tree.
I read somewhere about some guy saying that, you know, about the sexual fantasies and urges, that he had all his life. And he was 20, and then when he was 30 he thought they'd cool down a bit, and then when he got into his 40s he thought they'd cool down, and they didn't, and he went on, 60s, 70s, until he was still driveling on in his mind. And he couldn't possibly do anything about it, apparently. So that rather... well, not depress, but I mean, I just thought "shit", cause I was always waiting for them to lessen. Whereas I suppose it's gonna go on forever. Well "forever" is a bit too stong a word there. Let's say, go on until you leave this body, anyway. Let's hope. Maybe the game is to get... conquer it, as they say, before you leave, otherwise you come back for more, and then who wants to come back just to cum? Oh maybe I read it in the Capote thing, I'll check that out.
Well, you say, you're s– found a way
Well, no ***
You say you found Jesus, and he's the only one
You say you found Mohammed, and he's a lot of fun
You say you found the Buddha, and he's the only way, yeah
You say you found Krishna, and he's the light of your day
Well, there's something missing in this godalmighty world and it's your mother
It's your mother, sure is, honey
She say you gotta serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself, honey
Get up off your knees, I gotta confess
It's something obnoxious
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
Well, you may believe in devils, you may believe in lords
But you know you're gonna have to serve yourself, yes you are
You say you found Lord Jesus, he's the only one
Say you found Buddha, and he's a lot of fun, yeah
And you say you found Mohammed, and he's the only way, God help us all
You're gonna find Krishna, and he's the light of your day
Well, you may believe in devils, I mean something that is missing in this ***
I was just going to tell you that, well, the first time I ever saw her face I fell flat on my arse!
Well, I've got a story to tell
Well, I should tell
You say you found Jesus, and he's the only one
You say you found Mohammed, and he's a lot of fun
You say you found the Buddha, and he's the only way
You say you found Krishna, and he's the light of your day
Well, there's something missing in this godalmighty world and that's your mother, mother!
She say you serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you know, you're gonna have to serve yourself, honey
Get off your knees
Spell M, O, E, honey, H, E, R
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself
Get off your knees, ***
You say you found Jesus, and he's the only one
You say you found the Buddha, and he's lot of fun
You say you found Mohammed, and he's the only way, yeah hey
You say you found Krishna, and he's the light of your day
Well, there's something missing in this godalmighty world and that's your mother
Yes, momma!
Hear me calling, momma!
She say you got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself, honey
No room service here
Well, it's your mother, oh it's your mother
You say you found Jesus, and he's the only one
You say you found the Buddha, well he's a lots of fun, yeah
And you say you found Mohammed, and he's the only way
And you say you found Krishna, Krishna, and he's the light of your day
Well, there's something missing in this godalmighty stew and it's your mother
It's your mother
Hear me calling, mom!
Spell M, O, T — tired, heh-heh-heh!
Why must we be alone
No one to call us home
Do do do doo do doo doo
Do do do doo doo doo
Why must we be afraid
No need to doo doo doo
Do do do doo do doo doo
Here to me
Why must we be afraid
That's the way the world is
That's the way the world is
That's the way the world is
That's the way the world is
Do do do doo do doo
Do do do doo do doo
Do do do doo do doo
Do do do doo do doo
That's the way the world is
That's the way the world is
That's the way the world is
That's the way the world is
If it don't feel right
If it don't look right
If it don't feel right
Why don't they leave us alone
I cannot fill your empty life for you
Why don't they leave us, leave us alone
I cannot paint the empty skies for you
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
You're concerned, the lesson has been learned
Why don't (they) leave us, leave us alone
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Where you're concerned, the lesson has been learned
You're concerned, the lesson has been learned
Why don't they leave us alone
We cannot fill their empty skies for them
Why don't they leave us, leave us alone
We cannot paint the empty night for them
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Where you're concerned, the lesson has been learned
All right
Came from the underworld
Every time she's in pearls
Why don't they leave us alone
We cannot fill your empty lives for you
Why don't you leave us, leave us alone
We cannot paint the empty skies for you
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Where you're concerned, the lesson has been learned
Why don't they leave us alone
We cannot fill the empty page for you
Why don't you leave us, leave us alone
We cannot shave your hairy legs for you
Ah, don't be crazy
Please, don't be crazy
Don't be crazy
Where you're concerned, the lessons have been learned
Well you told me you could do it too
Have your cake and eat it too
But all you wanna really do
Is nothing *** you
Well you told me you could do it too
Have your c...
"Well how does it go? No... Ah..."
Told me you could do it too
Have you...
"Where did I go?"
Told me you could do it too
Have your cake and eat it too
Have your cake and eat it too... too
"Oh, that's nice"
Told me you could do it too
Have your cake and eat it through
But all... all you really wanna do
Is baby make love to you
Well you told me you could do it too
Have your cake and eat it through
But all you really wanna do
Is baby make love to you
Well they told him he could do it too
Have his cake and eat it...
"Where are we?"
They asked him could he shave his legs
He answered that he liked his ***
And if he wants to ***
And baby make love
Well you told me you could pull it through
Have your cake and eat it too
But all you really wanted to do
Was maybe oo-oo-ooo
—
They told us we could have it all
They never said the price was tall... small
But all I ever really wanted to
Was maybe be loved
—
When the little bubble bursts
You had your fun and done your worst
And all you really wanted to do
Was baby be in love
I don't expect you to understand
Now that the end is near at hand
I don't expect you to...
—
All the little boys and girls
Playing...
"No, no, that's..."
All the little girls and boys
Playing with their little toys
When all they really wanted to do
Is baby be in love, maybe be in love
I don't expect you to understand...
—
All the little girls and boys
Put away their little toys
But all they really wanted to do
Is baby be in love
All the little bubbles burst
Had their fun and done their worst
And now there's nothing left to do
But maybe be in love, baby be in love
I don't expect you to understand
Now that the end is near at hand
I don't expect you to wake from your dreams
Too late for crying, now it seems
All the little girls and boys...
All the little girls and boys
Playing with their little toys
All they really wanted to do
Is baby be in love
All the little bubbles burst
Had their fun and done their worst
All they really wanted to do
Is baby be in love
I don't expect you to understand
Now that you've gone and you left your land
I don't expect you to awake from your dreams
Too late for crying, now it seems
Woke up this morning, blues around my head
No need to ask the reason why
Went to the kitchen, then I jumped back into bed
Something nasty in the sky
No need to be afraid
No need to be afraid
It's just real life, real life
It's just real life, it's just real life
Woke up this morning, blues around my head
No need to ask the reason why
Went to the kitchen, then I ran back to my bed
Something funny in the sky
No need to be afraid
No need to be afraid
It's just real life, real life
Real life, it's just real life
Woke up this morning, blues around my head
No need to ask the reason why
Went to the kitchen, to get myself some bread
And something funny in the sky
No need to be alone
No need to be alone
It's just real life, real
It's real life, it's just real
Woke up this morning, blues around my head
No need to ask the reason why
Went to the kitchen, then I jumped back into bed
Something funny in the sky
Why must we be alone
Why must we be alone
Oh, it's real life, it's real
It's real life, it's real
"Mother forgive me!"
Went up the mountain, to see what I could see
Nothing doing in the world
Went to the seaside, had a cup of tea
Went to the ***
Why must we be alone
Why must we be alone
Well, it's real life
Real
Woke up this morning, blues around my head
No need to ask the reason why
Went to the kitchen, then I ran right to my bed
There's something funny in the sky
Why must we be alone
Why must we be alone
It's real life
Hmm, it's real life
Was I just dreaming, or was it only yesterday
I used to hold you in my arms
And now a baby and another on the way
*** farm
Now must we be alone
wah wah wah wah wa wa wa wa wa
If it don't feel right, don't do it
If it don't look right, look right through it
If it don't feel right, don't do it
Just call 'em on the phone...
Woke up this morning, blues around my head
Ain't no need to ask the reason why
Went to the kitchen, lit a cigarette
Blew the smoke rings in the sky
Just got to let it go, just got to let it go
Hmm, it's real life, it's real
It's real life, it's real
Let go, let go, let go
do do do do doo do dn do do do do doo
do do do do doo do do doo
do do do do doo do dn do do do do doo
do do do doo do do doo
Hmm, let go, hmm-mm let go
Well, it's real life, it's real
Yes it's real life, it's real
Let go, let go, like the mighty river flow
From the ocean to the shore
Let it go, let it go
Picked up the paper, read the daily news
Nothing doing anyway
The same old b.s., do do doo do clues
***
Let go, let go...
"Now, what am I doing?"
Why don't you let it go
Why don't you let it go
Hmm, it's real life, it's real
Yes it's real life, it's real
Let go, let the mighty rivers flow
Let go, let go
"Oh, rock your balls you bum!"
Let go, let go, let the mighty spirit flow
Let go, let go, let it go, let it go
Woke up this morning, the blues around my head
No need to ask the reason why
Went to the kitchen, lit a cigarette
Blew the smoke rings in the sky
Just got to let it go, just got to let it go
Hmm, it's real life, it's real
Yes, it's real life, it's real
Let go, let go, let the mighty spirit flow
Let go, let go, let go
Picked up the papers, and read the daily mail
Nothing doing anyway
Made some coffee, and bit the chinese tail
Do do doo doo in the hay
Doo doo, let go
Doo doo doo doo, let go
Well it's real life, it's real
Yes, it's real life, it's real
Let go, let go, let the mighty spirit flow
Let go, let go, let it go, let it go
Just had to let it go
Just got to let it go
Now it's real life, real
Yes, it's real life, it's real
This here's dedicated to all you phallic worshippers out there, in good old s– planet Earth — or should I say spaceship Earth?
You say you found Jesus, he's the only one
Say you found the Buddha, he's a lots of fun
You say you found Mohammed, he's the only way
Say you found Krishna, he's the light of your day
Well, there's something missing in this godalmighty stew and it's your mother
It's your mother
You gotta serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
Got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you've gotta serve yourself
No room service here, honey, serve yourself
You say you found Jesus, he's the only one
You say you found Buddha, and he's a lots of fun
Well, now, you say you found Mohammed, and he's the only way
You say you found Krishna, and he's the light of your day
Well, there's one thing missing in this godalmighty stew and that's your mother
It's your mother
Hear me calling, mom! And she said it
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do you, not the way mama do
Well, you may believe in devils, you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself
'Cause there ain't no room service here, honey
I mean, we just ain't got time
Oh, mother!
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
Ah, serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
Well, you may believe in devils, you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself
Ain't no accountants here, boy
Get yourself a lawyer
Well, you tell me that you found ole Jesus, and you know, you tell me he's the only one
Oh, you tell me you found Buddha, and he's a helluva lotta fun
You say you found Mohammed, and he's the only way
And you say you found Krishna, Godbless you, and he's the light of your day
Well, there's something missing in this godalmighty stew and it's your mother!
Yes, it's your mother
Relax, mommy's here
When did you last call your mother?
About two thousand years, I believe
Spell M, O, T, H, E, R, yeah it's your mother
Well, it's your mother, well, it's your mother
You know what she says?
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you, that's right honey!
Serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself
Get in line, stand in line
Oh, mommy, I've been such a bad, bad boy, I've been worshipping false idols
I've gotta confess, momma, I've gotta get this thing off my chest, momma, and onto yours!
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
You got to serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself, honey
Ain't no accountance, lawyers, waiters, cleaning women and God know's what else here
We ain't got that, honey
I mean, love your mother, she's the only one you've got
Serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do you
Serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself
This ain't no plaza — or should I say the Plaza?
You say you found Jesus, and he's the only one
You say you found the Buddha, and he's a lots of fun
You say you found Mohammed, and he's the only one, well well well
You say you found Krishna, and he's the light of your day
But there's one thing missing in this godalmighty stew
One thing missing in this godalmighty stew and it's your mother
Well, it's your mother
You gotta serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
You gotta serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do it for you
Well, you may believe in devils and you may believe in lords
But you're gonna have to serve yourself
Ain't no waiters here, honey
Spell M, O, T, H, A-E, R
You gotta serve yourself (it's your mother!), ain't nobody gonna do it for you
You gotta serve yourself, ain't nobody gonna do for you
Well, you may believe in lovers and you may believe in lords
But you gotta serve yourself
C'mon, get up your knees, honey, you gotta serve yourself
Pick up the pieces, baby, serve yourself
All little boys and girls
Living in this lonely world
All they needed from you
Is maybe some love
All the little girls and boys
Playing with their little toys
All they nearly really could do
Was maybe some love
I don't expect you to understand
Now that the end is near at hand
I don't expect you to awake from your dream
Too late for crying, now it seems
All the little plans and schemes
Blowing up your little dreams
All you really needed to do
Is maybe some love
I don't expect you to understand
Now that the end is near at hand
Don't expect you to wake from your dreams
Too late for crying, now it seems that
All the little boys and girls
Nothing but this crazy world
(All they) really wanted to do
Was maybe some love